36 Comments
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Amran Gowani's avatar

I was so successful at not making money I removed the paid subscription tier altogether. Now, nobody can fail to make money better than me.

It's a testament to the power of Substack as a platform, which also can't make enough money to support itself.

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Carlos Picante's avatar

Amran, you always find a way to be the best at what you do.

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Jennifer George's avatar

Lol I did the same! I’m starting to think my life purpose isn’t expressed through writing, but rather through the discovery of new ways to fail. Neither of which have been profitable in any sense…not for me at least.

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Amran Gowani's avatar

It's only when we try and fail that we try again and fail again. That's like a famous proverb, right?

In all seriousness, monetizing a newsletter is a bear, especially if you're not spreading conspiracy theories, fighting the culture war, or pretending to be an expert. Did you ever see the collabo Carlos and I did? It's the best business idea I've ever been associated with.

Link here: https://open.substack.com/pub/agowani/p/join-our-groundbreaking-new-series

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Aristotle Evangelos's avatar

Or you can do like me. I am an actual certified expert in something, but I write fiction here instead, thus ensuring that I have no growth at all. It's a great method.

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FranB's avatar

You and me both!

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tobi o's avatar

lmaooooooooooooooo incredible. why is this the best comment?

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Jennifer George's avatar

In my biased opinion, I concur and am proud to add this to my list of wins. It’s tiny but mighty.

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tobi o's avatar

you’re my type of person.

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Shawn Fink | Awesomely Awake's avatar

Same!! LOL :)

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Greg Nix's avatar

I think you should go with Slower Boringer.

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Carlos Picante's avatar

Smart! That'll show I'm an even BETTER value proposition than Matt.

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Heather Briann's avatar

Ha!! Good one Greg. I agree

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Meg Oolders's avatar

1. I write fiction. So .... yeah.

Two newsletters, huh? I'm about to launch my second. Can't wait to work twice as hard/much for double the amount of nothing! WOOT!!

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Carlos Picante's avatar

I am nothing if not a glutton for punishment

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Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

I came across a “Goodbye cruel world” Note the other day from a guy who was sure this wasn’t the place for him (“I thought Substack was for everyone, but I guess not”) because no one saw anything he published. Ironically, that one Note got so much traction that he changed his mind.

I couldn’t decide if my howling was delight or anguish.

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Carlos Picante's avatar

As a cynic, I always wonder if those Notes are sincere or just engagement bait.

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Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Exactly, Carlos. Optimism in one ear, pessimism in the other, duking it out in my brain.

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Janeen McCrae's avatar

I feel seen. But it must be a mistake.

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Patrick Jordan's avatar

This is gold. Now I know how to change things up. Never going to refer to myself as me anymore, or say that I wrote this, or this is my stack. All him, he, and his from here on out.

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Carlos Picante's avatar

Exactly. If everyone but you is succeeding but you aren't you, then you must therefore be not you, which makes 'you' you one of the everyone who is succeeding!

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Albert Cory's avatar

I have a very few paying subscribers. They get the right to go through the Archives, into which everything goes after 5 months. That's it.

But otherwise: it's all free. I wrote a hugely successful post, "Substack Won't Make You Rich." It gives the lie to the notion that everyone's making money. They're not. Not in writing, not in acting, not in music, not anywhere.

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Christine Ahh's avatar

Not just Anyone...EVERYONE BUT ME seems to thrive here. 😭😳🤪

“Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms...”

sing along: https://youtu.be/nzi_ohn5zzU

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Birgitte Rasine's avatar

I have none other than Amran to thank for shoving me down this rabbit hole. But, lo and behold, 'tis a rabbit hole that feels like home! I can just feel those 4 MILLION paying subscribers rubbing shoulders all round, yet staying ever so politely out of reach, because, you know, that would be rude to cross that personal distance—er, newsletter—boundary.

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Dennard Dayle's avatar

As a giving empath starseed martyr, this is delightful news.

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Walyullah's avatar

Someone accidentally pledged to my substack once. I knew it was accidental but those potential dollar signs were so beautiful 🥹.

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Eliza Anderson's avatar

It might help if I turned on paid… but probably not.

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FranB's avatar

Love this! It's great to have a new way to fail, now that X is no longer an option.

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Birgitte Rasine's avatar

Suggestion for #1: Pay each and every one of your free subscribers $1 every time they like one of your posts. Oh, oh even better, pay your followers here too. This way you become the brilliant innovative mind who's turned that whole capitalist dynamic on its head. That'll really show them who's king.

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Carlos Picante's avatar

I like it! You know what they say, gotta spend money to make money.

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Michael Maupin 🄾🄵 🅂🅃🄾🅁🅈🅂🄷🄴🄳's avatar

1. Be honest?

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Joan DeMartin's avatar

Very funny and sounds like my wildly successful Substack!

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